Mojo recently added a flashy banner imploring me to preorder the excellent game Psychonauts, so tonight I decided to perform my civic duty and do as I was told. I presume the game will be released in North America long before Europe - so I might as well order it from some American site, like EBgames as suggested by Mojo, thought I. Big mistake!

The first problem: the United Kingdom was just about the only country conspicuous by its absense from the massive dropdown in the ‘International Shipping’ section. Uh oh! Instead I checked the shipping price for a handily nearby country, France - and guess what! EBgames wanted to charge half the price of the game itself for postage. Sod that then. ¬

Luckily I decided not to give in, because next I journeyed to Video Games Plus, which I’ve heard good things about. There the Xbox version of the game costs just over £30 - including international shipping! That’s less than the game will cost via mail-order once it officially arrives here, and much less than it will cost in an actual shop. In other words, after flying all the way across the Atlantic in some kind of jet plane, Psychonauts will still be in my possession sooner and cost less than if I wandered down to GAME. Jeeeeze. This country. ¬

Yes, I’m out of ideas (as usual) so it’s time to post about something that will already be familiar to most people who read this thing! Hooray!

If you have Worms World Party (or Armageddon) for the PC and a love for Members of Parliament called Boris, and his blog just isn’t enough for you, download the official* soundbank! Now all your worms can shamble around saying strange things in a plummy accent, and mumble incoherently when something unexpected happens - just like in real life!

Download the soundbank here, exactly like most of you will already have done! Installation instructions are inside.

* Not actually officially sanctioned. In any way.

“So Adam! Remember how Tony got SHOT IN THE NECK but he survived and he’s in hospital but Michelle is a bit worried because they’re like ALL MARRIED AND STUFF and so maybe we should turn management of CTU over to Geil who’s LOOKING A BIT SHIFTY but I suppose he can do the job because we ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS TO STOP THIS VIRUS OUTBREAK?”

Yes, awkwardly scripted mini-recaps intended for the casual viewer aside, 24 is a rather entertaining piece of American hokum. But imagine it being done - Indian style! Yes, you would no longer be short-changed with a hugely shocking plot twist every half hour - they would happen all the time! Literally! Oh man, I’d pay to see that.

Have you got Sky? John, er, I have.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where Day of the Triffids (the dodgy B-movie, not the rather excellent BBC version) is the best thing on, don’t despair! Take a magical mystery tour up through the channel numbers and you’ll find something rather wonderful.

Speed past the shopping channels (how can there be sufficient mugs in the world to keep them all in business?!), don’t stop as you accelerate past Sky Box Office, but come to a sharp halt before you get to “Red Hot Viewers Wives” (seriously - I put it on by accident once and will never ever make that mistake again). Here in this forbidden realm you will find international channels from around the world. Witness a mad Brazilian World’s Wildest Police Chases-style programme that doesn’t try to dress everything up with moral messages, just gets straight to the point - loads of overturned cars trailing sparks in slow motion! Or the various Chinese channels where I once saw some kind of stunt dog doing some kind of crazy tightrope walk. And Al-Jazeera.

Far and away the best of the bunch though are the Indian channels showing wall-to-wall Asian drama. Now these are intense - I don’t mean the stories are compelling or the acting is good, just that everything is a huge event. Picking up a bottle is greeted with a blast of melodramatic music and overacting that would make the cast of Blake’s 7 blush. And when some woman opens a present that turns out to be a BOMB!!!!!!! - well, it’s all a bit of an anticlimax really. When stepping out of a door is treated as a deep and significant watershed moment, how can getting blown up possibly top it?!

British TV is mild by comparison.

I do enjoy listening to the radio, and talk radio in particular! Sadly the ’spoof’ talk radio stations in the latest GTA games are sometimes deadly accurate - I particularly enjoyed Chatterbox on GTA3, because it apes my favourite talk radio genre of all - the classic phone-in! Whether it’s Late Night North (local radio for local people - er, except it was syndicated across the whole North of England) or Jeremy Vine, they seem to attract their fair share of nutters phoning in, and amusement is had by all!

Jeremy Vine is always good for a laugh, partly because of the unusual format - “yes thanks for that harrowing tale of drug addiction and incest - and now, Ian Dury and the Blockheads” - but mostly because Jeremy likes nothing better than the indulge the odd nutter. I paraphrase from an exchange yesterday, discussing this…

Sweet Old Lady: If a young burglar came into my house, I’d handcuff him to the bed - top and bottom…
Jeremy: Er OK!
SOL: …strip off all his clothes…
J: Interesting!
SOL: And then pour cold water over him all night.
J: Are you getting excited thinking about this?
SOL: What do you mean?! Anyway, when I’d finished, I’d take some hot tar and drip it all over his chest for a bit. Then I’d throw him out of the house.
J: Hmm, I think we should take some legal advice on this one!
SOL: I don’t mean throw him out of the window or anything! Just the door…

Priceless! ; Especially as it was the first caller of the day. :~