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Weird Porn for Weird People

Monday 10th April 2006

There’s a new episode of Consolevania out, and what a scorcher! In every way possible.

You see, this particular episode is Consolevania XXX, focusing on the best the games industry has to offer “adults”. Judging by the fact that the likes of GTA San Andreas were seen by some to herald a new age of maturity in gaming, you can see where this is going.

Fortunately, only one of the games featured tries to be anything other than decent, honest-to-God porn. There’s terrible-looking adventure game Lula 3D, some porn version of the classic CU Amiga giveaway Bally 3, and the motherlode: Hentai 3D.

I’ve never seen the point in hentai, so excuse me while I find the idea of a game based around it to be hilarious and not titillating in the least. The concept is simple: you get some computer-generated Japanese ladies thrown onto your screen, you make small talk with them – er, if that’s what you call dialogue choices including “hey you little bitch”, or something along those lines.

And then you dress them up and insert things in them.

The most impressive part? There’s even a tentacle scenario. And the saddest thing? It’s graphically very nice. I did have a screenshot here, but it’s been lost in the mists of time and the vagaries of the Internet – just as well, really.

Hentai 3D. Get a demo here, if you’re a freak.


3 Comments

Comment By: Ryan Williams

Monday 10th April 2006 | 23:02

God.

It looked terrible in the Consolevania review, and it continues to do so. I mean, okay, the whole concept it highly amusing, but can you seriously imagine somebody sat there groping themself to this?

I was going to get the demo, but I don’t think I should bother as Consolevania already revealed that you cannot sperm men’s bums. What good is that?!

Comment By: Tom

Friday 14th April 2006 | 01:53

HUZ

Comment By: Ryan Williams

Saturday 15th April 2006 | 05:05

Wtf, Tom? Wtf?


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